Fears

Having read Keats’ “When I Have Fears that I may Cease to Be”, I completely identified myself with its words because I do have feel fear when I think about my death. Also, I could immediately relate his poem with the desire of transcend after dying. Keep living in the world, not physically but by being remembered. That is why there is a saying that reads “Every man needs to have a son, plant a tree and write a book”. These three are ways of transcending in the Greek fashion. I am sharing my thoughts about death (written almost a year ago).

Thoughts...
I seriously have no idea of why this thought comes to me once in a while. Anyway, I don't like it, it makes me feel rotten. Actually, I just hate the way it makes me feel! This stupid thought is about death. When it comes to my mind I ask myself whether life is really worth the trouble of living it.
I have this restlessness desire to know what happens after death. Where do we go to? Is there any place to go? Why have I taken all the trouble to live my life and do my best doing it if I will day and that's it, it will be over? This thought really worries me, and when I am thinking about it I feel so cold and my stomach gets tense. I mean, Death frightens me. And it makes me feel scared of wasting my time in silly things. I really think we have to live our life and take the most of it without wasting any minute.

Today, I was in the bus and this stupid thought came to me... I said, I don't want to die, I don't want to! But you can't live forever, right? Eventually, we will all die. What right does death have over me that take away my possibility of living forever? For me, dying is the most horrible thing in life, but we all know it will happen, any day since your birth.
I hope to feel a bit more relaxed about this topic that is a big issue for me!

Just a question,
What do you feel when you think about dying?